life lessons

Life doesn’t give us “lessons” as punishment. 

It’s not because we were “wrong” or that we necessarily should have done something differently than we did. 

I’ve had a habit of looking at life this way: of analyzing every experience (particularly the “bad” ones) and looking for the ways in which I fucked it up. So that I can not only try my best to prevent it from happening again, but also reprimand myself for it and use it as proof of my not-enoughness. 

Now, of course some analyzation of experiences in life and the taking of responsibility for one’s part is necessary and positive in some cases, but I’ve been recognizing that I often take it far past that 😬 and that is not healthy or supportive.

I’ve noticed it happen in these past few days since I broke my foot... using this experience as a reason to beat myself up. To criticize myself for the things I “could have done differently.” And for a moment, I even began thinking of ways to punish myself, as my old restrictive patterns got triggered. Thankfully, I’m now in a place mentally and emotionally that that moment didn’t last very long at all🙏🏼

Are there lessons to be learned from this experience? Yes!! Many! There are definitely things I will do differently to help this from happening again (ie keep dumbbells far far away from my feet when doing cardio😅) as well as more subtle and personal lessons, like healing my relationship with my body on a new, deeper level. There are so many revelations and opportunities for growth that have come up for me already, and I’m sure I’ll have loads more in the next few weeks. 

And these life lessons?!

They’re not about “😡teaching me a lesson😡.” 

Lessons are simply about growing. 
Growing in new ways. 
To give us new experiences. 

Lessons aren’t retribution. 
Life isn’t looking for ways to punish us; it’s looking for ways to co-create with us. 
To help us grow and return more and more to the truth of who we are. 
Our wholeness. 
Love. 

So let yourself open to what life is giving you, to what it is showing you. Let life hold you. Let your lessons expand and grow you🌹❤️ remember: all along you are blooming.