her reflection

One day, she looked at her reflection in the mirror 
And everything changed
The body she used to be at war with suddenly became
The vessel that had carried her through all of it

Instead of something to control,
She saw something to be trusted
Instead of eyes to judge her
She saw eyes to hold her
Instead of skin to be prodded
She saw skin longing to be caressed
And instead of lips to curse her every move, wrinkle, mark, and curve
She saw lips wanting to honor every single bit and part of her

Everything had changed
But she knew nothing had really changed
Because her body, this body, had always been there for her
Constant. Unwavering. True.
But today, today she realized she had the option to see it all differently
To witness what she already was instead of trying to endlessly change into something she wasn’t
To drop the sword she always held ready to fight what she saw in the mirror
And instead open the doors of her heart
To the beauty, to the friend, she finally saw staring back at her. 

♡S

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Some words that came pouring through me today. When I asked Ryan to read them, he said: “Is this how you really feel about yourself now?” And I replied something like: “Not always, but so much more than I ever have before. More than I imagined I ever could.”