Let Go Of Should

Let go of “should.” 

I’ve noticed how much I say the words “I should”: I should be doing X in my business, or making X amount of money. I should be more calm. I should be doing more, working more, reading more, being outside more, exercising more, giving more, creating art more... I should be feeling like I have more time right now. I should be ready to have a kid by now. I should just be able to just deal with it. I should be more grateful. I should be more productive. Damn that’s exhausting just writing that.

And the thing is, we put these “should’s”, and the guilt and shame associated with them, on ourselves... and often, the should’s and shouldn’t’s, the “right” and “wrong”s are not coming from us, from our heart and our inner knowing, but from things we learned, from the beliefs and ideals of the families, cultures, societies we grew up in and are immersed in. And some (or many) of these things? They might not actually be true or true for you. They might even be keeping you small.

We’re trained to look outside of ourselves for guidance, for the answer to what we should be doing and who we should be, and this makes us forget that we already have a guidance system built within us... our intuition, gut feeling, inner knowing. We forget that everyone has a different view on how to do things... so how can there be an absolute objective right or wrong, should or shouldn’t, way to live? I don’t think there can be.

You are unlike anyone else that has ever existed. You are meant to forge a path in this life that is different from everyone else’s. As am I. Let’s stop blindly following someone else’s directions, and start listening to our own.

And that, I think, is all about practicing getting still and listening. It’s about exiting the mind and entering your heart, asking it your questions and feeling what comes up rather than responding to the reactions in your head, and then taking action on what your heart tells you. A baby step towards what you now know is true for you and the life you truly want.

This is how we create a life that is ours, from the inside out.